Thursday, December 15, 2011

Legitimacy

So last night I discovered the great Hannah Moskowitz and I was literally up until 5am reading every single post in her blog.  When I got done, I did something I've never done before in my entire life:  I randomly emailed a published author and said, more or less, "dude, you are so awesome." 

I'm kind of chickenshit about authors.  I have always equated them with rock stars and politicians in my head as "people I absolutely cannot imagine having the balls to talk to because they are so much more important than I am." 

But reading Hannah's blog, it occurred to me, "oh shit.  I am an author, too." 

That's a silly thing to say/think.  Of course I'm an author.  I've got short stories in magazines and shit.  You can find me on Goodreads.  I'm legit.  I've kind of got street cred, except not really. 

Well, anyway.  I'll have more street cred in a few weeks once Tagestraum starts making the rounds. 

Here's another shocking thing that just occurred to me:  I've been writing for 15 years. 

It doesn't seem fair that the writing I did as a kid should "count" but I'm going to do it, anyway, because I was writing seriously all that time.  I mean, I've still got my rejection letters.  I had two requests for a partial on two separate novels I shopped around when I was 12.  They were personal rejections.  One of the editors didn't even know how old I am so it wasn't a pity rejection.  Just the regular kind. 

Honestly, I'm kind of kicking myself for not having pursued things more fervently when I still had so much free time.  I wrote 9 novels from 6th grade through my freshman year of high school.  Then the "oh my god I suck so bad" hit me, and I wrote a whole lot of nothing throughout high school.  Mostly I dicked around with revisions and roleplayed online and read about writing. 

Then in college, I didn't just want to write a book, I wanted to write a book that would change the fucking world and when I realized that I hadn't succeeded in that task I was once more gripped with agony.  I stopped writing books for awhile.  I wrote some short stories.  I got them published with an acceptance that that Duotrope tells me is higher than average. 

Hell, I even sold one.  For $10.  And it's awesome. 

But, anyway.  Where was I going with this. 

Right.  Real authors. 

We are totally rock stars.  And we're also people.  And you should absolutely talk to writers and authors and rock stars (if their bodyguards will let you) because they're pretty cool and really actually just like you. 

The end. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, back to the second draft slog.

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