Friday, March 23, 2012

Holy Shit, I'm Really Doing It

Do you ever have that moment where you're doing something painstakingly normal and boring (like boiling a pot of water for tea) and you have a flash of epiphany where you realize, "Oh my life is amazing"? 

I just had one of those moments.  It's such a shocking realization, considering all of the darkness and depression that I've battled with all of my life.  It's really stunning -- dazzling, even -- to take a step back and realize that, in a very real way, I'm actually living the dream. 

In less than a year, I've moved out of a job that I hated.  I started writing full time.  I've moved to Austin.  I've had the time, knowledge and means to start living a lifestyle that I've always wanted: cooking from scratch, eating whole foods, making my own bread.  Soon I'll be joining a Community Supported Agriculture program and getting weekly deliveries of fresh, locally-grown organic produce.  I'm learning how to can, make cheese, pickles and various other urban homesteading projects. 

A lifestyle that I once looked at with awe and confusion is suddenly mine.  Wholly, completely, 100% mine.  It boggles the mind.

Of course, there's a few things I still want to do.  I want to find some higher-paying writing gigs with bylines.  I want to transition to writing fiction for money, ideally as a full-time job, rather than relying on web content to pay the bills.  I want to start setting aside substantial, meaningful amounts of money every month.  I want to buy a new, economical car -- preferably a hybrid -- that's less than 10 years old, and I want to buy it in cash.  I want to buy a house, preferably one in the country but within an hour of the big city.  And I want to be at a point where I am buying 100% whole foods and making my own butter, cheese, bread, sausage, deli meat, etc.

All of these things will take time, and I am completely satisfied with waiting and working toward those goals, because they are completely attainable.  And that is probably the most amazing thing. 

Life is good.  Every day, no matter what else is good.

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