So I've been quiet lately -- which is not particularly abnormal -- but this time I have a better excuse than normal. You may recall that I got engaged just before Christmas. The initial plan had been to spend a year leisurely planning a wedding and get married under some blossoming trees in early March 2015. But, as things often do, life got in the way and circumstances required us to accelerate things quite a bit. Now we have to get married this summer, and in a different venue than I'd anticipated.
None of this is bad. In fact, it's pretty exciting. The venue is gorgeous, the food will be phenomenal, and getting married this year means I never again have to face the high tax penalties associated with being single (thanks, government). But it also means that all of the planning is happening at the speed of light.
I was expecting a certain degree of stress. Planning a big event requires logistics, and there's family obligations and requests to bear in mind.
What I was not expecting was the enormous rush of feels.
That was silly of me, of course. Just because we've been together nearly six years doesn't mean that getting married isn't still a huge step. I'm suddenly the center of attention, receiving outpourings of love and support from every corner, and it's overwhelming and awesome and honestly a bit unsettling. And the act of wedding planning itself is by its nature reflective and introspective (at least, the way we're doing things it is). You have to examine traditions and discover where your values stand in relation to them. You have to look carefully at yourself and your relationship and sort out what's important to you and why.
And as a writer, it's quite possible that I'm over-thinking this entire thing. Because I'm approaching this wedding situation very much the way I might approach a new book: I'm looking at theme, and every step of the way I'm cross-checking to make sure that the "message" of this event is true to my intentions.
The whole thing is exhilarating and exhausting, and it's filling up my head with so many thoughts and feels that I can hardly concentrate on anything else. Which, let me tell you, is making work pretty difficult. It doesn't help that I have an absurdly heavy workload right now anyway. I was stressing about it before I fell face-first into wedding planning.
Anyway. I suppose all of this is a way of saying: I've fallen into a black hole called wedding planning, and it may be a long time until I resurface. Wish me luck ;)